First, let me thank the Seattle Mystery Bookshop for hosting me for the sixth year in a row. That's six books in six years and frankly, I'm tired. That is why I have decided to interview co-authors for future Spellman books Patterson-style. I can't pay nearly as much, but I'm promise to buy you lots of candy and on occasion pay you a compliment.
--Your hair looks great today.
--I don't know how you make that vest work. But you do.
--No, I think your eyebrows are fine, just as they are.
That sort of thing.
Anyway, please send your cover letter, resume, and a recipe for the South Side to email@example.com